Book Review: The Erotic Baptism – And the Lord Entered Her with His Love

The Erotic Baptism

A cautionary tale kids, don’t ever use the words “do your worst” when giving a sadist permission to find literary offal for your blog. I honestly cannot tell if this is the best troll in the history of offensive literature or if the alleged author stands firmly by this work. I must a agree with the author on one thing:

“Faith was disappointed by the lack of quality Christian erotica, leading her to write erotica which is simultaneously sexy and celebrates the life of Christ and Christian values.”

The Plot

Upon witnessing the baptism of Jesus, Bethel is overwhelmed by her devotion to the Lord and Christ’s love. This love and devotion manifests as feelings of sexual attraction toward John the Baptist.

Writing Style

Positively biblical. Other than that, I cannot actually comment. I will let the excerpts speak for themselves:

“‘I have asked John the Baptist to baptise me, to fulfill the righteousness that the Holy Father has bestowed upon me. By allowing John to baptise me, I am following the Holy Father’s will, and can truly become the Son of God.'”

“With an assertive, joyous motion, John the Baptist lifted Jesus’ body from the river. Suddenly, the clouds in the sky opened, the sun shone through, and a majestic dove flew down fro the skies and above the head of Jesus Christ. To everyone present, to was clear beyond any doubt that this man was the Son of God.”

At this point it was all very children’s bible story with sweeping assumptions and unsubstantiated conclusions. Then suddenly:

“Her passion for John mixed with her love for Jesus and his compassion towards her, and she realized what she must do. ‘God has a purpose for the passion I feel, and the wetness between my thighs, across my womanhood’ Bethel thought to herself.”

“‘The wetness will be to baptise John. By engaging John in sex, we will be expressing our love of God and his son Jesus Christ, and that love will be amazing.'”

“Any apprehensions she had about John’s rigid pole were dispersed by his soft kisses and eager fondling of her lush, ample breasts.”

“…brushing his lips against her folds and dipping his tongue against her now protruding love button.”

“She looked up at John and saw his face contorted in ecstasy, the love of Christ coursing through his veins as well. With each thrust John’s muscles would tighten…”

The Review

What the serious fuck did I just read? I’m not a believer by any stretch of the imagination but I was feeling offended for Christians while I read this literary abortion. Moreover, I’m annoyed for people who read and write actual erotica. Don’t use that in your title and then give me some piece of shit, pedestrian cunnilingus and regular missionary sex. “Love button”… I mean, really?

Not to mention that if you were truly proud of your literary genius, you wouldn’t use a lame nom de plume like Faith Angell. Kill it with fire!

My Rating: 0/5

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