“She looked back to see Riley flip onto his back and begin open-mouth snoring, his hands still curled as if waiting for her breasts to fall within their reach again. What was she still doing here? Riley was infamous for kicking his dates out in the early morning before his mother woke up.”
– Night And Day (Locations 202-204)
From Amazon: With the Coulter ranch in serious trouble, free-spirited Riley is being forced to grow up and fast. When he and Sam have a drunken fling one night, he’s had just about enough of his womanizing ways. He’s tired of always kicking women out of bed and enduring awkward mornings.
But when Sam gets pregnant, Riley isn’t sure he can handle the responsibility. His reaction almost drives Sam away forever. It’s up to Riley to come through and be the man he’s always meant to be and love the woman he’s always meant to be with.
This story could have done with another round or two of spellchecking and grammar clean up. There were a number of little, but irritating, errors. Things like using colloquialisms outside of direct speech, and I utterly despise this sort of writing (even though everyone is doing it):
“Jace sat upward, all tousled hair and sleep-lined face. (Location 222)”
Use adjectives for fuck’s sake! Create a more descriptive narrative. Don’t be this lazy. Also, Rachel Hanna got her own character name wrong… Other than these usual suspects of average writing, the story wasn’t bad. I really liked Sam, the female protagonist, and her gumption. I do think that Riley needed a bit more work.
“He found himself suddenly wishing she would leave. What if she said something in front of his friends? Ryan and Derek didn’t know squat. They’d ended up leaving the Saddle early and missed the whole show. As far as he knew, no one else had told his buds. He’d have gotten a few calls by now, if so. And judging from the reaction of his brothers, he’d be getting a lot of crap for going after Sam Daily.” (Locations 305-308)
“The warm water ran down her naked body, soothing her as the scent of mint filled the air. Still, she felt that old mother’s twinge in her stomach that told her she’d been away from her child too long. This was only the second time she’d ever spent the night away from Owen. The first time had been with Riley, too. She wasn’t sure she would ever get used to it. (Locations 913-916)
This was a sweet story but it felt extremely rushed toward the end. And the characters didn’t seem to have reached the same page, so to speak, at that stage. As I mentioned, I really enjoyed the development of Sam’s character but by the end of the story it almost felt as if she had settled for Riley, and that Riley wasn’t really stepping up so much as making the best of an unfortunate situation.
Riley is a 26 year old still living the life of a university first year, with his fondest memories being of high school. These sorts of immaturely written male protagonists don’t get me hot but rather they get me hot under the collar. As a character, Sam is a single parent who has had to make some difficult choices and had to grow up fast but she’s making it work. Now she finds herself unexpectedly preggers again. Do you really want a man-child on top of all that? Not so much.
Overall, a cute story but a little to “happily ever after” for me. Life doesn’t work that neatly. I’ve read each of the stories in this series and they are all like this. This is unfortunate, as these stories have a great wealth of potential. I hope the author develops her skill and narrative writing.
My rating: 3/5
Buy Night And Day on Amazon.
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