Game Review: Horizon Zero Dawn – Our old new future

Release Date: 2017 Developer(s): Guerilla Games Publisher(s): Sony Computer Entertainment Platforms: PS4 (Exclusive) When I saw the very first trailer for this third person action RPG, while watching Sony's E3 presentation in 2015, I was simultaneously intrigued and skeptical. The game looked sleek and fluid, if the trailer was to be believed, and the graphics were... Continue Reading →

Book Review: Taken by the Tetris Blocks – A Whole New World of Gaming

After a two month hiatus, I think it only fitting that my return to blogging be at the hands (or rather blocks) of this anatomically confusing snotty tissue. Tetris blocks. Really? Tetris blocks? Is nothing sacred? The Plot This sneeze of a "short story" follows Christie Aackerlund on her very brief journey of self discovery.... Continue Reading →

Movie Review: BloodRayne: The Third Reich – Uwe Asshole!

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy Director: Uwe Boll Running Time: 79 Minutes 79 minutes? It felt a helluva lot longer than that! The Plot Something about Nazis. I honestly don't fucking know. This movie was boring I was trying commit suicide by swallowing a pizza slice whole. The conclave did not allow it. I think this movie had... Continue Reading →

Movie Review: BloodRayne 2: Deliverance – Uwe lied to me!

  Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy Director: Uwe Boll Running Time: 99 Minutes Here we go again! The Plot One hundred years after the events of BloodRayne, we find ourselves in the Wild West, in a sleepy hollow called Deliverance (how original!). Once again, the plot was close to impossible to figure out. We were able to gather... Continue Reading →

Movie Review: BloodRayne – Why Uwe do dis?

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy Director: Uwe Boll Running Time: 95 Minutes The conclave convened and decided that we had not tortured ourselves enough by watching Uwe Boll's Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead. We took it upon ourselves to watch the BloodRayne trilogy, with undying support from the Stygian Mole and our resident Occult... Continue Reading →

Game Review: Bloodborne – You’ve got red on you

Release Date: 2015 Developer(s): FromSoftware Publisher(s): Sony Computer Entertainment Platforms: PS4 (Exclusive) It was either this or The Order: 1886. Both are set in an some approximation of Victorian England. Both had compelling plots and highly cinematic trailers, and both were Playstation exclusives. After much debate and asking around, the resounding advice from friends (online and... Continue Reading →

Game Review: Arkham Knight – Non-lethal has never looked this badass

Release Date: 2015 Developer(s): Rocksteady Studios Publisher(s): Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment Platforms: PS4, Xbox One, Windows, Linux, Mac OS Anyone who knows me that I am one of the biggest Batman fans out there. So it was a no brainer that I would buy this game. What was not guaranteed was just how much I enjoyed... Continue Reading →

Movie Review: House of the Dead – Uwe is a Fool

Genre: Horror/Action Director: Uwe Boll Running Time: 90 Minutes I played House of the Dead at the arcade when I was a kid. It was mindless, harmless fun. It was always one of the most popular arcade games. Then you hear about a movie adaptation of this beloved throwback and you hope that justice will... Continue Reading →

Game Review: Destiny – Become Legend (but only if you buy all the DLC *Ts & Cs Apply*)

Release Date: 2014 Developer(s): Bungie Publisher(s): Activision Platforms: PS3, PS4, Xbox 360 and Xbox One With the media frenzy around Marty O'Donnell's case against Bungie and the release of update 2.0.0 a month ago, I thought it time to finally throw in my two cents about the game. I could go on and on about all the usual things,... Continue Reading →

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